3 reasons why mishaps are inevitable, 3 steps for coming out of mishaps and 3 techniques to turn a mishap into an opportunity

I always thought till sometime back - mishaps and really bad things would happen around me and NEVER to me. You also would have thought so. Till the first misfortune struck. And then other misfortunes followed. In spite of that if you are standing today with smile on your lips you are fortunate - not because you have come out of your mishap - but because reality touched you the first time when the first mishap struck you. Without going through hard reality, how could you have become a man?

3 reasons why mishaps in life are inevitable

 

Reason 1. Your life system has Financial, Relational, Health and Want components. All your near and dear ones have their own life system components. Failure in any component of any of these life systems might be a mishap to you. A fridge, a computer, an organization or  relation - anything in nature or built by humans has its own life cycle. Your life span being usually much longer than its components, failures in  any one of the components is a near certainty.

Reason 2. Chaos or disorder in the universe including man-made world always increase. Failures also increase making individual mishaps of any kind more and more probable with passing time. As you live longer, chances of major failures increase to a near certainty. Your life is not beyond larger laws.

Reason 3. Human society becoming ultra competitive with reducing resources per person, system stress and failures increase continually.
It is no surprise that a mishap will happen to me or you. We are no special persons protected from all evils (if we look at a mishap as an evil).

Truth: I may fall - it is natural, but it is important that I stand up after a fall.

3 ways to come out of a mishap

 

Way 1. Take account: When you get your breath back, do a clear accounting of assets you still have: are you still breathing? Can you think reasonably even if you may feel numb in mind now? Then you are fortunate. Know now that it is a miracle for a human to be alive with innumerable unseen unknown forces constantly working against it.
Do not rue the loss - count and value what are left. Just as no loss can be replaced, all losses (except loss of mind and life) can be recovered from, as Nature abhors vacuum - it is a larger law. It will fill up IN TIME the vacuum left in you because of your loss. Trust nature. Learn to trust. Maybe for the first time in your life.
Scars will remain, they will never go. But have you ever closely seen the scars on a deeply lined face of a very old man? Those scars make his smile the more beautiful and rich. Without scars you have not lived.

Way 2. Review: Then you stand up, shake your mental limbs and reevaluate the new world you are left with. What will be the goal of your life in this new world? How can you best utilize the assets you are left with? Perforce you may be doing this for the first time in your life. Human life potentially is incredibly rich. Most of the time we never appreciate it. This is the opportunity to appreciate.
Choose your path. Now you are more experienced. Immerse yourself into creative activities with focused energy. Now you know failures may come anytime. Life does not move a level straight path always. Be glad that you have been given a second chance.

Way 3. Look around. You will now be able to see the plight of other living humans. You will be able to feel the pains. Know for sure this is a great gift. Probably now you will be able to work for others. In time, even if it is not now, you will know the true joy of living - loving and living for others - not for yourself alone.

3 surefire techniques to turn a mishap into a great opportunity

 

Technique 1. Analyze the reasons for the failure. Identify the causes internal and external. Strengthen the weaknesses. Be sure that if you accept your weakness it can always be strengthened. If the reasons are external, take preventive measures. You will come out to be a much stronger person. Unless a child falls it never learns to walk. Unless you fail you can never learn what success really is. All learning comes through mistakes. Unless you make mistakes how could you have learned?


Technique 2. Be a teacher. Now you can be. Share your learning with others. Gains will be manifold.


Technique 3. Focus your attention on the adverse elements in this new situation. These are most valuable. Explore with new thinking, how you can utilize these apparently adverse elements for creating new positive pathways. It has never failed to surprise me that in every adverse situation, the adverse elements could be used for creating a new and  highly positive path.


Believe that every mishap can be turned into a great opportunity.

A simple story

My client, a 22 year old stripling, went through a deep tragedy losing two and half months of study time just before her final exams. When she could start her preparation she thought she would just be able to give a tolerably good show as the exam was rumored to be postponed by two weeks. Three days later she called me, totally distraught, "Exam dates are final - not postponed."

It was a hard struggle alright - only one month was left. Nevertheless, she didn't fall down - kept on standing her feet.

That was direct front line fight - we all go through such travails in life. No mystery there - we need to muster all our resources and battle on.

As the exam ended, she visibly came out of a long tunnel, and basked in sunlight again.

Being experienced, I warned her, not once,"You can't take a break more than a week. Next stage admission tests are only one and half month away. Remember, that is your target. You have crossed only one hurdle." She went on enjoying her days. No effect.

Then the law of hidden opportunities popped up in my mind, just by chance.

I approached her now with more confidence, "Look at the two weeks pre-exam apparent loss as a gift to be used now for admission tests. Your peers may not think that way and waste this valuable time." Her eyes opened wide with comprehension.

What is the biggest delusion in human life?

What is it? Do you know?

Before that we should be clear about what delusion means.

A delusion is a belief which is not true in reality.

Usually delusions are of negative kind. Some examples:

• You believe that you are not good looking. This is quite a common belief held by large number of humans, specially of female kind of young age. Reason is:   

  "in most countries, even in this modern literate age, young girls are evaluated and chosen by young boys and men by their looks rather than their intelligence and inherent worth."
  

  It is a negative delusion and curable most of the time. By this delusion resulting loss belongs directly to you.
• You believe that you are weak in maths. Though you are pursuing technical or science subjects, still you cannot get over this strong fear in maths. This is a negative delusion and generally root cause in this fear originates early in childhood and persists throughout life. Of course this is curable. By this delusion you stand to lose in many ways.
  Both the first and second delusions are called by the names of fear, inferiority complex and so on. Technically we classify these as delusions. Reason:

  we firmly believe, your delusions are based not on sound and reliable reasoning, truths and principles. In reality truth is different – it is positive – for you.
  

  Look around, analyse. You will find ample evidence of what we say. Nevertheless, in time we will show you enough reasons for you to start believing. Firm belief opposite to your delusions takes time to grow.
• You believe that whatever you think or say is always the right thing and others are wrong. With trivial reasoning, and easy experimentation, this can be proved false any time. This delusion though not only undermines the believer it may also affect a very large number of people adversely. Other names of this delusion are superiority complex, egotism and so on. Wealth, material success, and intellectual success amongst others, are the root causes of this type of delusion. Why do I call this as delusion? Because:

  any living thing is inferior to any other living thing in many ways. Secondly, superiority is only temporary, any living thing will die, Thirdly, practically all points of views are subjective and practically all statements have counter-statements. Fourthly, the superiority, if not translated into anything positive and lasting, is valueless.
  

  Can this be cured? We believe, by clear reasoning and effective practices, this can be cured for the good of all.

We know now what delusion is. All these examples unfortunately are of negative kind. Can you think of any positive delusion? What are the delusions that are good to have?

• A celebrity cricketer when walked to the crease to start batting, you could see a corner of his hanky peeking through his right pocket. That was his belief. He considered that action to bring good luck and success to him. Why do we call this a delusion? By no conceivable reason you can say with any amount of certainty that merely by hanging a corner of his hanky from his right pocket he would definitely score a lot of runs.
  Should we laugh at him? Never ever make that mistake. This type of delusion each one of us has in some way or the other. These do not harm the person or others but definitely increases the confidence of the believer. This is a positive delusion. Commonly these are called as idiosyncrasies – a tough word undoubtedly.
• My niece told me the other day, “Suprio Sir is a great teacher.” I assumed that by this she meant him to be a great man and surely a model for her. He may be a good teacher to my niece, but in private life, in his mind and in other spheres of his life he may not be as great as my niece thought. By believing in the greatness of the man though, my niece could create a model valuable for her growth – a positive delusion.

  Most of our beliefs or perceptions about good, bad or great about things and people are biased and technically are delusions. Still these help in most cases where these are of positive kind.

Now the main question: what is the biggest delusion in human life?
Think over. Think through. Then only start reading this monologue again.
 A few decades back I lived away from my family for a few years in a faraway place, alone. Coming home on a short leave, one fine morning as I just stepped out of the compound of my building the idea struck me like lightning – ohh, why didn’t I think it before!

Every human, every life form cannot think, if it can think, and can never accept that it will die. That one day it will cease to be from this beautiful earth with total certainty.

This is the biggest delusion in human life.
Take away this delusion, world as we know will stop.
Elated I asked the question to my near ones, my close friends. To my surprise some of them straightway went to the right answer. One of them though pointed out, “In Mahabharata, Yudhisthira, the wise one, was asked the same question and he gave the same answer.
At first I was a bit deflated.
Now I know, 7.5 billion humans on this earth form a single entity with single consciousness, but everyone goes through life perceiving and discovering the great truths by himself or herself. A great truth however many times you hear, you won’t own up – it will not be yours. It will be yours only when you perceive it yourself. This the way learning happens, personal growth happens. 
This one by far is the biggest and strongest delusion of positive kind inhuman life.
Back to track we ask, “What is the use of this oblique, convoluted and apparently fruitless discussion? Like all mortals I try to justify.
Our recommendation as decision analysts:

• Identify all delusion you have – don’t leave anything. This process itself will unfold yourself to you greatly.
• Classify the delusions in two classes: positive and negative.
• Apply your reason and all other techniques that you know or don’t know (if you don’t know, learn) to vanquish, erase, and get over the negative delusions.
• Be sure of a great wealth of knowledge and progress forward. That will be the outcome for certain.

You may ask me, “Do you do it yourself?”
At the least I am honest. I answer, “No dear, not fully. I am a mere mortal. My will is not as strong as yours. But I try. I don’t give up. I wish you success.”